Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
