everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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