Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
