I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize