She said her name was "party"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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