so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
