pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
