There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
