Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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