now i know why i became what i already was.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize