I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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