I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
