maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
