Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
