I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
