I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Who did Billy Mays play for?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
