Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just found puke in my bra..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
