are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
