Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
