Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
