I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just invented taco cereal.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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