That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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