The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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