He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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