were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
