I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
