you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
