Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
