Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
