I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
