help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
