if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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