i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
