We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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