Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
