Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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