Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
