When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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