Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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