It's just like the Real World with babies
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
