your room smells of hookers.
And success
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
