OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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