I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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