Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
