Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
