My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
