I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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