ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
