Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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