you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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