If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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