he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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