So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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