I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
