Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
