Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize