You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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