You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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