Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
