i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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