Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
And then he peed in my hair
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