I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have fence marks all over my body
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
