This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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