I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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