So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
