Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
