remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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