I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
