i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
