Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
