I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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