so explain again why im purple
no
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize