My sheets look like a crime scene.
its not stalking. its research.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
